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THE LONG GAME

Writer's picture: David ThomasDavid Thomas

As the new government’s first budget attempts to usher in a new economic dawn, The Business of Pleasure takes the long-view of new financial brooms and catches more than a whiff of déjà vu…


Westminster, 30 October, 2024.

The Chancellor of the Exchequer, Rachel Reeves, 45, carries her red dispatch-box one thousand yards from Number 11 Downing Street to the Palace of Westminster, as the eagle-eyed hunter-scavengers that hourly roam the world’s financial markets circled these skies in search of fatal, fiscal fissures.

 

Westminster, 30 October, 1485 (500 yards away)

The Earl of Richmond, Henry Tudor, 28, is crowned Henry VII in Westminster Abbey, as the power-hungry clans grappling for dominance in Europe turn their crowned heads towards this little island; the gleam in their eyes (and teeth) triggered by ‘prospects for growth’ ranging from increased economic and political influence to outright invasion.

 

Four months previous, Rachel Reeves’ Labour Party had triumphed in the General Election ending fourteen years of Tory rule.

 

Two months previous, Henry Tudor’s raggedy-arsed army of exiles and mercenaries had defeated Richard III at the Battle of Bosworth, ending thirty years of bloody civil war.

 

In her budget speech, Rachel Reeves (the first woman to become Chancellor of the Exchequer) pledged to put the public finances on a firm footing and restore economic stability.

 

During his tightly-budgeted reign, Henry Tudor, (the first Welshman to become King of England) restored the bankrupt royal treasury and provided a firm financial foundation for his more Hollywood-friendly family, Henry VIII, Elizabeth I, etc.,

 

But early doors, the newly-minted Henry VII relied heavily on The Business of Pleasure (and a tactical marriage) to legitimise his claim on the throne, including a multi-million-pound programme (in today’s money) of plays and pageants portraying his totally mythical progenitors.*  This unprecedented expenditure was almost one hundred-percent bankrolled by The Lord Mayor and Aldermen of The City of London, who were taking a massive punt on The New Boy(o).

 

At time of writing, 31 October, 2024, The City of London, and the wider financial world, are hard at work trying to fathom out whether the newly-reminted Labour Party, as evidenced in yesterday’s budget, are also a safe bet to restore The Realm’s economic fortunes. And, once again, it will fall to The Business of Pleasure (with today’s talk-spots, tabloids and Twitter replacing the Tudors’ trumpets, tournaments and tableaux) that will be key to selling the story.

 

DT 31 October, 2024

 

 

*Henry’s grandad, Owen Tudor, allegedly 'pulled' a single-mum, Catherine of Valois, widow of Henry V, at a party. Owen was so lowly-born that her father, Charles V of France, and her son, the young Henry VI of England, didn’t think it worth blocking* the subsequent  marriage.

 

**Traditionally royal ‘blocking’ was effected by means of axes and chopping blocks.

 

***Owen Tudor finally (very finally) got the chop in 1461, when he was beheaded after the battle of Mortimer’s Cross.

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